Birth of a Soldier

My son's memorial

2007-08-15T00:21:00.001-07:00

PFC Wise Memorial
Originally uploaded by melpeloquin

To all who have sent their condolences...thank you.

Final Goodbye

2007-06-28T17:21:00.000-07:00

I guess the only thing left to do to wrap up here is say goodbye. Chris died in a car accident on April 18, 2007. By all accounts, he was well on his way to being an outstanding soldier. I miss him so very much, but I know he is at peace.

My Final Post

2006-10-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

Now that Chris is with his permanent unit, I have decided to wrap up my little project and say "Good-bye." It's becoming more and more difficult to find anything to write about, and then there's the concern of revealing too much when I do think of something.

So, I'd like to thank everyone who has stopped by, this has been therapeutic and educational for me, and I appreciate the opportunity to share this journey with you. Please keep Chris, and all of our brave military men and women, in your prayers.

God bless you, and God bless America.

*Oh- and one more thing: I should at least let you know how Chris is doing since he left...

He is loving his permanent unit! He's amazed at the amount of "freedom" he has now in the evenings and on the weekends. So far, his only complaint-no cell signal in his bedroom!

He's made some friends, and they've taken a weekend trip to Nashville- and he had "the best time" there! (Nashville? Bet they didn't visit the Grand Ole Opry!)

And with that, I'm signing off.

Caffeine and Tears

2006-09-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

We're off and running this morning...Chris is making sure he hasn't forgotten to pack anything. I'm making sure I have plenty of coffee on hand. We leave for the airport in 30 minutes, and I'm trying not to cry. It's easier than it was when he left for basic training. But it's still not easy. I can't believe my son will spend the next couple of years waaaay up in Kentucky. He's never experienced a winter outside of Texas or Louisiana. He HATES cold weather...should be interesting at least!

Today is my Rolling Victory Fast day- so far, so good. Of course, I've only been awake for about 45 minutes. I'll give another update when I get back from the airport.

Victory Fast Update, 11:45am: 2 cups coffee; not even remotely hungry.

Chris departure: Solemn and uneventful. (Short-term parking was full, so we had to hike waaaay too far, carrying ridiculously heavy bags-you wouldn't believe the size and weight of Chris' big duffle bag, I'm pretty sure it is almost as tall as I am, and probably weighs about as much...of course he just slung it onto his back like it was nothing!) After saying good-bye, I cried in the ladies' room, back through the parking lot and MOST of the way home. You see, it WAS a little better than the first good-bye...I didn't cry ALL the way home this time!

My new favorite place!

2006-09-23T00:43:00.000-07:00

Chris managed to get a few days leave before he heads off to his permanent unit. He's home, and I love it, and the days are flying by too quickly! Naturally, he's been dividing his time between his family and friends...somehow, his friends seem to be getting more of his "awake" time-but, I can't begin to express the feeling I get when I look in on him, sleeping in his old room (which is actually now, his sister's room.) I get choked up, seeing them both sleeping so peacefully-my babies....sigh!

Yesterday, he and I made a trip to the local Army surplus store. I've never been and was amazed at all the cool Army stuff for sale there! Bumper stickers, banners and t-shirts-Oh My!!! Chris found a 101st license plate for his car, and he educated me on the different uniforms belonging to the different branches of the military. I bought stuff I didn't need, and can't wait to go back for more!

I hadn't been "shopping" with Chris for a long time-even before he left for basic training, so I enjoyed every minute of it. All the little things I used to take for granted are now precious memories for me to hold in my heart. Now, every time I go to that little surplus store, I will remember my first trip there-the one I took with my son.

7 and a wake-up!

2006-09-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

That's right-the countdown has started! Sunday, September 24th is my day to participate in the Tanker Brothers Rolling Victory Fast! If you still haven't checked out these guys, you're really missing out on a great blog!

Ft. Campbell or Bust!

2006-08-31T14:30:00.000-07:00

HOOAH! Chris graduated from AIT today!

He actually seems to be looking forward to joining his unit in September! I am beaming with pride!!!

Begging for recommendations!

2006-08-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

Chris will be permanently stationed at Ft. Campbell, KY (101st Airborne support) as of Sept. 20th. His car is here in Southern Louisiana. I'm checking into auto transporters, and would love to hear from anyone who has shipped a vehicle before-good or bad experiences, please let me know. There are hundreds of companies and/or brokers to choose from, and with the amount of money involved (and my son's precious ride,) I can't afford to hire a third-rate operation.

Thank you so much!
Melissa

Sweet Southern Comfort

2006-08-17T23:32:00.000-07:00

The beauty of the South:

It's been a rough month. I haven't been writing because-well, lately, the news from Chris has been either very depressing or completely non-existent. When I said he is homesick-that's an understatement. He's been able to call his friends, and I'm sure the images of them going to the movies, staying up all night, talking on the phone, and sleeping late are tormenting him. Pay attention kids: stay in school! The thing is, Chris probably would have joined the Army regardless of his scholastic outcome...it's what the men in my family do. But, I'm sure he would have preferred waiting until all of his buddies were on their ways to whatever adult ventures lie ahead of them. (Maybe a couple would have even enlisted with him!) But, as I've had to point out to him, we live the consequences of our actions. When you drop out of school, you don't get to be a teenager anymore. You want to be an adult? You want to be treated like an adult? Then you have to make responsible decisions, work hard, and act like an adult.
So, the realization that his childhood is now officially over has fully sunk in. Add to that- there's a whole lot of people in the world that don't especially like our country...particularly our military, and you've got the fixins for a good ol' pity party...and my boy likes his parties!
He's also managed to do something to his back, and keeps failing his PT test (a huge source of aggravation for a kid whose physical capabilities have always been rather impressive.)
Tonight however, he's found a new reason to get the pity-party rollin': we can't make it to MISSOURI for his extended off-base Labor Day weekend! For those who don't know-I live in Southern Louisiana. That's more than a few miles from Missouri. We (Chris' grandma and I) drove up there for his graduation. It was a long, boring, expensive trip (in case you live in a cave-gas ain't cheap these days!!)
I understand Chris wants to get out for a few days. Really and truly, I get that. But even if I wanted to make the drive-I just can't afford it! I hate to hear him so "oh, woesome me"- but, my hands are truly tied on this one.
I guess I haven't written much, because he's such a downer to listen to on the phone, I didn't want to bring my 10 readers down with us. Oh well, you take the good with the bad, I guess.
****I've been told he'll probably settle in much better once he gets to his permanent station...oh please let that be true!****

The 17 Year Old Soldier

2006-08-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

An actual update? Well, yes and no.

Pvt. Wise is officially in AIT. He is studying to be a construction equipment repairer. So, how's he doing??? That's tough to answer. He's finally aware that there is a world outside of his own. And it's a big, dangerous, hateful world. And unlike the gratuitous violence of his video games, or the glorified violence of his favorite rap tunes- the violence of war is real...and it's ugly. And he is an American Soldier serving during a time of war.

He's also realizing that being a teenager in school really wasn't that bad. Maybe he should have spent less time on the phone, and more time studying...maybe lying around the house, bored out of his mind, wasn't such a bad place to be? Maybe that teacher that was always on his case, wasn't so difficult after all? These things he'd never admit, but I imagine they've crossed his mind. In short, he's homesick, and he's scared...but I imagine he's not alone over there.

Can you spare 39 cents a week?

2006-07-19T02:29:00.000-07:00

Soldiers' Angels are dedicated to ensuring that our military know they are loved and supported during and after their deployment into harms way.

Did you know you can send a letter to a soldier in Iraq, Afghanistan, or anywhere else in the world with a single stamp? Could you sacrifice a few minutes out of your day to write (yes, literally- pen on paper) a letter of encouragement to a soldier who is sacrificing so much for you?

Sure you can...and Soldiers' Angels can show you how. I'm an "Angel"- why aren't you?

Don't call it a Jihad!

2006-07-19T01:35:00.000-07:00

****Highly Suggested Reading****

From The U.S. Army Professional Writing Collection:

Choosing Words Carefully: Language to Help Fight Islamic Terrorism

The United States must do more to communicate its message. Reflecting on Bin Ladin's success in reaching Muslim audiences, Richard Holbrooke wondered, "How can a man in a cave outcommunicate the world's leading communications society?"1

Use Precise Terms Precisely.

The answer to Mr. Holbrooke's question is an unsophisticated one: Bin Ladin speaks in a language that his Muslim listeners understand. We, on the other hand, simply do not comprehend the meaning of many words that we use to describe the enemy. American leaders misuse language to such a degree that they unintentionally wind up promoting the ideology of the groups the United States is fighting.2 We cannot win wide-spread support throughout the Muslim world if we use terms that, to them, define the behavior of our enemies as moral. Because the Global War on Terrorism-or more precisely the war against Islamic totalitarian terrorism-includes a war of ideas, leaders, journalists, authors and speakers must use the most accurate terms to describe those ideas.

The responsibility for precision in expression rests with anyone who believes in the need to share information candidly. But for those unfamiliar with Islamic doctrine, history and tradition, it may often be necessary to rely on scholars or other experts about the Islamic world to provide one with the necessary guidance to help convey the message correctly. Muslims will ultimately determine whether the ideology of al-Qa`ida, its affiliates, franchisees and fellow travelers represents authentic Islam or not, but the West can have enormous influence on their decisions. Furthermore, it is important to make sure that the civilian community in the United States and that of our allies and coalition partners accurately understands the nature of the enemy that we are fighting. Unfortunately, Western governments, intellectuals and journalists commonly use words that inadvertently (or sometimes deliberately) authenticate the doctrines of our enemy as truly Islamic. Correcting this vocabulary is a necessary step to educate the wide-ranging groups who are affected by the war; to discredit those who either passively or actively, or wittingly or unwittingly support Islamic totalitarian terrorism; and to reveal the truly insidious nature of our enemy.

What Are We Really Saying?

This essay discusses the most egregious and dangerous misuses of language regarding Islamic totalitarian terrorists; a comprehensive study would require a book. We begin with the word jihad, which literally means striving and generally occurs as part of the expression jihad fi sabil illah, striving in the path of God. Striving in the path of God is a duty of all Muslims. Calling our enemies jihadis and their movement a global jihad thus indicates that we recognize their doctrines and actions as being in the path of God and, for Muslims, legitimate. In short, we explicitly designate ourselves as the enemies of Islam.

Muslims have debated the meaning and application of the concept of jihad for centuries. Our application of the term to the actions of our enemies puts us on their side of the debate. We need not concern ourselves with the identification of the original or legally correct meaning of the term; individual Muslims will make up their own minds. As Professor Streusand has previously written, "Classical texts speak only to, not for, contemporary Muslims." It is also important to note that opposing jihad, a basic principle of Islam, violates a classical text of our own. The United States Constitution denies our government the ability to prohibit the free exercise of religion; consequently, we should never use a term, such as jihad, that misstates our current and historical position on religion.

Mujahid (plural mujahidin or mujahideen): one who participates in jihad, and frequently translated in the American media as "holy warrior." The use of this term designates the activity of the enemy as jihad and thus legitimizes it. It was quite proper for us to describe the warriors who resisted the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan as mujahidin, many of whom are now our allies in Afghanistan. To extend the term to our current enemies dishonors our allies as well as authenticates our opponents as warriors for Islam. Even to a Western audience it can lend a sense of nobility to an otherwise ignoble enemy.

Caliphate (khlilafa): This term literally means successor and came to refer to the successors of the Prophet Muhammad as the political leaders of the Muslim community. Sunni Muslims traditionally regard the era of the first four caliphs (632-661) as an era of just rule. Accepting our enemies' description of their goal as the restoration of a historical caliphate again validates an aspect of their ideology. Al-Qa`ida's caliphate would not mean the re-establishment of any historical regime; it would be a global totalitarian state. Anyone who needs a preview of how such a state would act merely has to review the conduct of the Taliban in Afghanistan before September 11, 2001.

Allah: the word Allah in Arabic means the God, nothing more, nothing less. It is not specifically Muslim; Arabic speaking Christians and Jews also use it. In English, Allah should be translated as God, not transliterated. While translation emphasizes the common heritage of Judaism, Christianity and Islam (the three faiths which identify their God as the God of Abraham) it does not imply that the Abrahamic faiths share identical concepts of God. Even though some Muslims use Allah rather than God in English, the practice exaggerates the divisions among Judaism, Christianity and Islam.3

What Are the Right Words for the Job?

Now that a few unsuitable word choices have been addressed, it is time to begin to identify the proper expressions to use whenever discussing the global Islamic totalitarian terrorist movement. Many of these terms will be unfamiliar to Westerners, but not to most Muslim audiences. Only those who actively, passively or even unwittingly support al-Qa`ida's (and similar groups) professed goals would find the terms, and their use by non-Muslims, offensive.

To refute challenges to the new context surrounding these expressions, any user of these terms must be able to define the words in order to defend their accuracy and the appropriateness of their use. Otherwise anyone who dares to define the enemy using its own Islamic language can be challenged by a variety of "pundits" who still see the struggle in terms of religion or poverty rather than political ideology; who despise Western society, capitalism or democracy; or who oppose the war for any other reason.

Hirabah: this word, which is derived from the Arabic root which refers to war or combat, means sinful warfare, warfare contrary to Islamic law. There is ample legal justification for applying this term to Islamic totalitarian terrorists and no moral ambiguity in its connotation. We should describe the Islamic totalitarian movement as the global hirabah, not the global jihad.4

Mufsid (moofsid): this word refers to an evil or corrupt person; the plural is mufsidun. We call our enemies mufsidun, not jihadis, for two reasons. Again, there is no moral ambiguity and the specific denotation of corruption carries enormous weight in most of the Islamic world.

Fitna/fattan: fitna literally means temptation or trial, but has come to refer to discord and strife among Muslims; a fattan is a tempter or subversive. Applying these terms to our enemies and their works condemns their current activities as divisive and harmful.5 It also identifies them with movements and individuals in Islamic history with negative reputations such as the assassins of the Caliph `Uthman in 656, who created the first fissure in the political unity of the Muslim community.

Totalitarian: calling our enemies totalitarian serves several purposes. There is no such thing as a benign totalitarianism. Totalitarianism is a Western invention and it appeared in the Islamic world as a result of Western influence (first fascist, then Marxist- Leninist). It is also in direct contrast to the idea that the enemy would actually establish a caliphate if they defeat the United States, our allies and coalition partners.

Not the Last Word, Just the Beginning.

This essay is neither definitive nor complete. It is only the beginning of a "primer" of the terminology used to describe Islamic totalitarian movements. There should be far more discussion about the right words to use to describe the variety of threats posed by transnational terrorists-Islamic groups and others. This article, we hope will help jumpstart the discourse.

Notwithstanding the fact that this article is a small beginning, the terms proposed herein should become an indispensable part of the vocabulary of America's leaders, reporters and friends immediately. The wrong terms promote the idea that terrorist elements represent legitimate Islamic concepts, which in turn might aid in the enemy recruitment of disenfranchised Muslims because we have identified to them a seemingly "traditional" outlet through which they can voice their dissatisfaction. It is essential to use the right language to address worldwide problems so that various audiences-which include the American-Muslim community-understand the full scope of the problem and are intellectually able to identify with potential solutions that are reasonable and ethical.

This paper offers word choices not just for public officials and correspondents but even students in the classroom and others studying terrorism. In fact, anyone who is interested in current events should have some familiarity with these words as well as the concepts and new dialogue they represent. We must use the right turn of phrase whenever attempting to inform and educate; language is a key component for us to be able to, in a way that makes sense to any audience, ask for assistance or demand action that will help defeat the scourge of Islamic totalitarian terrorism.

NOTES

1. National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States, The 9/11 Commission Report (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, undated), 377.

2. The 9/11 Commission's own report is guilty of this by using Jihad (and other variations of the term such as Jihadists) throughout. Jihad, discussed more in detail later, does not have a negative connotation for most Muslims-even when combined with descriptions of terrorist purpose or action.

3. On this issue see Daniel Pipes, "Is Allah God," FrontPageMagazine.com, June 28, 2005, at http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18577.

4. James Guirard of the TrueSpeak Institute explains the reasons for using the term hirabah rather than jihad in "Terrorism: Hirabah versus Jihad: Rescuing Jihad from the al-Qaeda Blasphemy," American Muslim, July-August, 2003 athttp://theamericanmuslim.org/2003
jul_comments.php?id=349_0_21_0_C. Guirard's approach underlies this entire article.

5. For example the leader of al-Qa`ida in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, has stated that Shiites are rafada or rejecters of Islam. The Salafist Sunni terrorist groups, the most well-known of which is al- Qa`ida, do not recognize other traditional Islamic sects as acceptable or Muslims. Use of rafada is from Fouad Ajami, "Heart of Darkness," Wall Street Journal, September 28, 2005, pg.16. As cited in the on-line version of The Early Bird, https://www.us.army.mil/suite/earlybird/
sep2005/e20050928393978.html, accessed September 28, 2005. The al-Qa`ida attack of civilian weddings at three hotels in Amman Jordan on November 9, 2005 is another case in point of terrorist attempts to promote discord among Muslims. The attacks killed 57 people and wounded 115, the majority of whom were Jordanian and Palestinian. Direct attacks by al-Qa`ida in Iraq against Shiite holy sites throughout Iraq continue as of February 28, 2006.

Also available online at:
http://www.ndu.edu/csc/docs/Choosing%20Words%20Carefully--
Language%20to%20Help%20Fight%20Islamic%20
Terrorism%2024%20May%2006.pdf

The long and the short of it:
To use the terms of al-Qa'ida (jihad/jihadis=holy war/holy warriors) legitimizes the actions of the terrorists. Learn the vocabulary and apply it appropriately.

A few graduation shots

2006-07-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

Entrance

Assembly

Exit

Post-Graduation Pictures

2006-07-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

Back at the hotel

Enjoying the last moments of freedom

Back at FLW

Mom & Chris being invaded by knats

Chris tiring of the photoshoot (& me)

It's Right Around the Corner....

2006-07-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

Wow! Time really does fly...when I originally posted this in July, September seemed like ages away. Of course, having a birthday in September probably helped to speed time up a bit!

I hope you've had a chance to check the Tanker Brothers out- they're working hard for all of us (and manage to keep a very active blog....unlike yours truly!!!)

Don't worry, I'll be sure to report the details of my Victory Fast Day.

Original Post:

UPDATE! UPDATE!
09/24-my coffee & diet coke day!

Okay, I've tried very hard to keep this blog as politically neutral as possible, but I must breakaway from the norm here for what I consider a worthy cause.

I find the actions of Cindy Sheehan offensive and almost cringe giving her precious space on my son's page...HOWEVER, as long as she is riding her 15 minutes of fame on the blood of her soldier-son, I'm hoping more and more people will see her for who she really is (not a grief-stricken mother, but a publicity-seeking opportunist!)

One of the blogs I frequently visit started this "counter-fast" in response to Sheehan's newest publicity quest. It's symbolic, of course, and I doubt any participants will be sought after by the press for an interview. Certainly, no one will profit from their endeavor. However, anyone who accepts the task can look themselves in the mirror, knowing their stomach growls for a noble cause...canceling-out the efforts of anti-military kookbirds!

So, why not check it out (below) and sign up?!

Tanker Brothers - Two Soldiers In The War On Terror

American Soldier

2006-07-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

It's official...and I am very proud!

Happy Independence Day!

2006-07-04T03:04:00.000-07:00

The reason we celebrate.

We Have MUSIC!

2006-06-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

GOD BLESS THE USA!

Update: Music no longer available.
(Turn up your speakers)

When News Happens...

2006-06-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

I report it...eventually!

Amazingly, Chris is less than two weeks from graduation. (I say, "amazingly" because my boy has faced more than his share of obstacles in the last few weeks.)

First there was the pink-eyes setback. Not pleasant, but quickly and easily curable. As I predicted, once Chris could actually see clearly again, his rifle-marksmanship improved. (There was something he said about some problem with his rifle, but I had no idea what he was talking about, and couldn't find anything on Google remotely close to what I think he said.) Apparently, everything fell into place, because he qualified. My son is now a Marksman.

Things are looking up...until Chris calls home on a Tuesday afternoon. This can't be good... He's in the emergency room. Dear Lord...He sprained his ankle. Whew! A sprain? Well, could've been worse...

Chris' only concern was having his graduation date delayed. He is absolutely determined to graduate on-time, with his platoon. I told him to try to take it easy on the ankle when he's given the chance. He told me he would, but he wasn't going to let this hold him back. (This is a new development in Chris' character: in the past, when faced with a set-back, Chris would throw in the towel. Now he's talking about doing whatever it takes. Quitting- even slowing down- isn't an option.) I am impressed.

Then, Friday June 9th came, and everything ground to a halt. The unexpected passing of his grandfather seemed to break the resolve that had kept Chris moving forward through his potential setbacks. He wanted to come home for the funeral. Nothing else mattered.

(If you haven't read about the extraordinary measures the Army took to help Chris get home without jeopardizing his graduation status, you can read about it HERE.)

I have to say, although the circumstances were heartbreaking, it was a wonderful experience having my son home for a few days. While waiting for his flight to arrive, I really didn't know what to expect. Naturally, he was one of the last people off the plane...

And he looked bigger! He hasn't been gone all that long, but I swear- he looked bigger! Maybe, it was the uniform. Maybe, it was the way he carried himself. Maybe, he's put on a couple of pounds (muscle, of course- he's always been blessed with a slim physique.) Whatever it was, I marvelled at his transformation as I hugged him through my tears.

I think Chris may have been surprised at the grateful remarks he received from perfect strangers. I am positive he understood his worth as an American Soldier by the time he returned to FLW. During his brief stay I noticed some remarkable changes. First of all, he speaks louder and clearer. (This is a good thing, because he always used to sound like he was talking with a mouthful of marbles.) Second, he is polite- to everyone. He said "yes sir" or "no ma'am" to cashiers in stores. Third, he's more generous. (Yes, it wasn't too long ago, when he wanted everything in the world, and not only that- he felt entitled to it. And if he couldn't have it, that was the end of the world.) Now, he's offering to help me get things.

All of this, and he's still in basic training. Color me impressed!

Holy Cow! We've been noticed!

2006-06-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

Tanker Brothers - Two Soldiers In The War On Terror

Real soldiers with a real blog have stopped by- and actually gave us a plug!

I am honored.

Mike Antonucci: Mercy Links vs. Godzilla

2006-06-22T03:53:00.000-07:00

Our very first link!

No! It is NOT a pity link!

(Okay you thesaurus-wielding killjoys...I know "mercy" means pity!)

Today, Mercy Link; tomorrow, Technorati Domination!

Mike Antonucci: Mercy Links vs. Godzilla

List of Army Acronyms and Expressions

2006-06-22T03:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, Chris forgets I am a civilian. I have realized that sharing a conversation with my soldier entails alot of acronyms on his side, and alot of "Googling" on my side. (Note to the preparers of the "Guide for Future Soldiers and Their Families": glossaries are good...a pull-out civilian "cheat sheet" even better!)

The Fantasticalest people at Wikipedia have rescued me from many a "huh?" moment the past couple of months with their Awesometacular list of Army Acronyms and Expressions. I'm sure this isn't complete, I hope it's accurate. At any rate, for those of us that don't say "hooah" at the end of every other sentence, here's your very own Army to Civilian Pocket Translator:

Official acronyms and initialisms

5-Ton - Refers to any tactical truck with a cargo capacity of 5 tons.
AAM - Army Achievement Medal.
AAR - After Action Review (formerly: After Action Report)
ABN - Airborne
AC - Aircraft Commander
ACU - Army Combat Uniform.
AIT - Advanced Infantry Training; Advanced Individual Training (specialty training post-BCT).
ALICE - All-purpose LIghtweight Carrying Equipment.
AO - Area of Operations.
APC - Armored Personnel Carrier.
APFT - Army Physical Fitness Test
ARCAM - Army Reserve Component Achievement Medal.
ARCOM - ARmy COMmendation medal.
ASAP - As Soon As Possible (pronounced AY-sap), but usually meaning "Do it right now."
ASI - Additional Skill Identifier; such as F7 (Pathfinder)
or W5 (Jumpmaster). Used at the end of an MOS code to designate skill
trained personnel. Example: 11B4VW5= 11B (Infantryman) 4 (Skill level 4
or SFC/E-7) V (an SQI or Skill Qualification Identifier of V equaling
airborne ranger) W5 (Jumpmaster).
ASOC - Air Support Operations Center
ASW - Anti-Submarine Warfare
AWOL - Absent WithOut Leave (ie. not at one's place of duty, and not authorized to be absent, for more than 24 hours)
BAH - Basic Allowance for Housing (formerly BAQ)
BAQ - Basic Allowance for Quarters
BCD - Bad Conduct Discharge (slang for Bad Conduct Discharge = Big Chicken Dinner)
BDU - Battle Dress Uniform
BCT - Basic Combat Training (familiarly: Basic Training or Basic), Brigade Combat Team (see also HBCT, IBCT, SBCT)
BEQ - Bachelor Enlisted' Quarters
BOQ - Bachelor Officers' Quarters
BX - Base eXchange: Air Force name for a PX (see below).
CASEVAC - CASualty EVACuation
CBR - Chemical-Biological-Radiological (See NBC)
CIB - Combat Infantryman Badge
CO - Commanding Officer (also: conscientious objector)
COB - Close Of Business - the end of the day or duty shift.
Meaning: by the end of the duty day. Usage: "Get that to me by COB
today!!!"
CONUS - CONtinental United States
CQ - Charge of Quarters. A company-level position of
responsibility for units who house troops in their areas. Given to a
mid-level or junior NCO who is responsible for the company's barracks
and area during off-duty hours when the company commander and/or First
Sergeant are not present. Lasts from COB (usually 1700 hours) to First
Formation (usually 0600 hours) the next day during the work week. On
weekends the duty hours are adjusted accordingly.
CWO - Chief Warrant Officer
DA - Department of the Army
DCM- Distinguished Conduct Medal
DCU - Desert Camouflage Uniform (not official)
DD or DoD - Department of Defense
DFAC - Dining Facility (Mess Hall or Cafeteria)
DPICM - Dual Purpose Improved Comventional Munitions (An Artillery Round)
DX - Direct Exchange (of damaged equipment)
ETS - Expiration of Term of Service (scheduled date of separation from active duty).
FARP - Forward Area Refuel/Rearm Point/Position
FEBA - Forward Edge of Battle Area
FTX - Field Training Exercise.
GMC - General Military Course
GCM - Good Conduct Medal
HBCT - Heavy Brigade Combat Team
HE - High Explosive
HEMTT - Heavy Extended Mobility Tactical Truck.
HMMWV Humvee - High Mobility Multi-purpose Wheeled Vehicle
IAW - In Accordance With
IBCT - Infantry Brigade Combat Team
IED - Improvised Explosive Device
IG - Inspector General
IRR - Individual Ready Reserve
KIA - Killed in Action
LBV - Load Bearing Vest, for carrying ammunition, water, and other tactical loads while in the field, or during an assault
MEDEVAC - MEDical EVACuation to an aid station or field hospital, usu. by air ambulance
MIA - Missing in Action; missing in a battle situation, not known if alive or dead.
MLRS - Multiple Launch Rocket System
MM- Military Medal
MOAB - officially, Massive Ordnance Air Blast (slang:
Mother Of All Bombs-a dig at Saddam Hussein's characterization of his
defeat in the First Gulf War as the "Mother Of All Battles").
MOLLE - MOdular Lightweight Load-carrying Equipment
MOS
- Military Occupational Specialty—formal job classification, usually
expressed as a number or number/letter combination— e.g., 11B
Infantryman.
MOPP
- Mission-Oriented Protective Postures - Established procedures to deal
with the effects of CBR/NBC weapons use. Chemical Protective Suits are
called "MOPP suits".
MP - Military Police.
MRE - officially: Meals, Ready to Eat; (slang: Meals Rejected/Refused by Ethiopians or: Meals Rejected by the Enemy)
NCO - Non-Commissioned Officer: an enlisted person with command responsibility; Corporal to Command Sergeant Major ; see also Specialist.
NBC - Nuclear-Biological-Chemical weapons, equipment, environment, and procedures
O/O - Order of Operations
OCONUS - Outside CONtinental United States, includes Alaska and Hawaii
OCS - Officer Candidate School
OLC - Oak Leaf Cluster (signifying subsequent awards)
OPORD - Operations order
OSUT - One Station Unit Training; combination of BCT and AIT where the soldier remains in the same unit for both training portions
PCS - Permanent Change of Station, reassignment to a different duty station
PERSCOM - PERSonnel COMmand, short for United States Army Personnel Command. Now known as HRC, or the Human Resources Command
PIR - Parachute Infantry Regiment.
PLF - Parachute Landing Fall
PMCS - Preventive Maintenance Checks and Services
POV - Privately-Owned Vehicle, a soldier's personal automobile.
POW - Prisoner of War
PW - Prisoner of War
PT - Physical Training. Used in the plural (PT's), it refers to the PT Uniform.
PX - Post eXchange. A multipurpose store which usually includes a barber shop and a convenience store.
REMF - Rear Echelon MotherF*cker - To Combat Arms soldiers, anyone other than them
RPG - Rocket Propelled Grenade
ROTC - Reserve Officer Training Corps, often pronounced ("ROT-SEE")
SDO Staff Duty Officer - Same duty as CQ (see above) but done by a Senior NCO at Battalion level or above
SBCT - Stryker Brigade Combat Team
SOCOM-Special Operations COMmand. This is the military
organization that oversees the activities of such elite units as the US
Navy SEALs and US Army Delta Force among others.
SOP - Standard Operating Procedure
STRAC - STRategic Army Corps;
STRAC units were those designated to be on high alert to move anywhere
in 72 hours or less; as slang, means tight, together, by the book; when
said with sarcasm by a combat unit about a REMF unit it refers to
stupid troops running around in circles
SITREP - SITuational REPort
STX - Situational Training Exercise
TC - Tank Commander
TDY - Temporary Duty
TF - Task Force
USAREUR - US Army Europe (HQ: Heidelberg)
UXO - UneXploded Ordnance
XO - Executive Officer (officer second-in-command to the CO)
V/R - Very Respectfully. The standard closure line on official mail/e-mail
VBIED - Vehicle-borne Improvised Explosive Device
VDM- Visually Distinguishing Mark
WO - Warning Order
WP - White Phosphorous
ZI - Zone of Interior, the United States. See also CONUS, which is more commonly used

source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Army few get to see...

2006-06-21T23:48:00.000-07:00

Chris' grandfather (my father) died suddenly Friday, June 9th. With heavy hearts, we contacted the Red Cross to get word to Chris at Ft. Leonard Wood. Chris was very close to his "Paw-Paw." And his Paw-Paw was extremely proud of him.
(As a parent, it broke my heart to have a stranger deliver this news to my son. Even worse, knowing he had to endure this grief over 800 miles away from his mother's arms.)
He took it very hard. He called home. He wanted to come back for the funeral.

A dilemma.

Chris has been working very hard to graduate on schedule. It was the most important thing in the world to him until that day. His grandfather would never have wanted him to jeopardize this goal on his account. Never. No way.

But Chris needed to be here. He needed to say "good-bye."
(Keep in mind, this is my first foray into the Army way of life, so I have no idea what the protocol is in these situations.)

What I learned is that the Army truly takes care of their own- even the E-1's. By the time I hung up the phone, the process of getting Chris home had begun. I didn't even have to think about graduation, because the "powers that be" in FLW would take care of that. I spoke with Staff Sgt. N- and when I say this man "lives the Army values," I mean I was humbled by his concern, and grateful for his knowledge and authority to "take care of things" on their end.

Chris could come home for 5 days without jeopardizing his graduation. If I could get the flight out of Springfield, Staff Sgt. N. would make sure Chris was on it.

***A most important, heartfelt "thank you" to the Officer (who's name I have unfortunately forgotten) who made the two-hour drive to the Springfield airport, so a grieving mother and son could be together in their darkest hour.***

Our entire family is deeply touched and sincerely grateful to everyone at Fort Leonard Wood who helped to make this difficult time just a little bit easier.

God Bless You & God Bless the USA.

In Loving Memory

2006-06-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

July 25, 1946-June 9, 2006
Beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, nephew, friend
We Miss You.

Bump in the Road

2006-06-11T13:03:00.000-07:00

M-16 Rifle

    Basic Rifle Markmanship (BRM) is proving more difficult than Chris expected. It doesn't help that his pink-eye spread to both eyes! Although it's clearing up, he's still having trouble with his M-16. He's really not used to having trouble doing something. To be honest, I can't think of a single thing he has ever set out to do, that he hasn't been able to do well, and with ease. (Of course that doesn't mean that he actually applies himself when the situation calls for it- i.e. his last five years of school...)
    I don't know anything about firearms, so this is a situation where I can offer encouragement, but not advice. So, I just reminded him that he can certainly do anything he sets his mind to, and not to get too discouraged (he's only been at it a week- with a visual handicap at that,) because all he needs is practice.
    In my opinion, if there is a single skill a soldier must master above anything else, it's how to fire their weapon accurately and with confidence. I know Chris can do this, and I know the thought of repeating this course of training is terribly disheartening to him, but for his safety and the safety of his comrades and innocent civilians, I hope he will come to understand just how important this phase of training truly is.

Actual News, Part 2

2006-06-07T17:45:00.000-07:00

In a letter dated 24May06,
Chris writes:
1. Got pink-eye
a.It is Warrior Tower day and he is not able to do it. b.Drill Sgt. says he can make it up so he's still on grad status so far.
2. Got gassed in gas chamber.
a. He made it through "cheering and everything!" b. It didn't bother him much. c. It was pretty cool.
3. Unsure if he will get to do pugil training/testing until he gets checked out at "sick call."

A LITTLE LAGNIAPPE:

Straight from the soldier's pen:

...I get homesick and lonely I also miss my friends but I'm in one of those situations where I have walked too far forward to move back and I even got a shot in my butt and about 12 or 13 in both of my arms. I got gassed and yelled at so I'm definitely staying but to sum it all up it is mostly fun and it is going by quickly. But sometimes it is boring when we are not doing anything but I'm making it so tell everybody I'm having NO trouble. Oh, and one more thing before I go- I made a check list for the car in order: [and a detailed list it is!]
...and when you come to grad. have a mini-cooler of Monster Energy Drinks-I'll buy up to $50 worth-haha!
Oh ok I'm gone...

How about that? My eternal pessimist is looking at the "bright side!"

Lots of photos (like those above) of current BCT at Ft. Leonard Wood are online HERE!

Once more, in English...

2006-06-05T23:51:00.000-07:00

Things have somewhat settled down, and in addition to my weekly phone calls, Chris also manages to send out a letter now and then. This is good. I have realized however, that the Army may be overlooking a valuable addition to their encryption/decryption department. Let me explain...

From all outward appearances, a letter from Chris seems normal. Then, I open the envelope. Somewhere between "Hey Mom" and "I love you-BYE" my mind goes into "safe mode." (Anyone who's spent a moderate amount of time with a pc has probably cursed their way through "safe mode.") For those who haven't, when your computer isn't thinking right, it reverts to its most basic mode of operation. (Supposedly to help its owner figure out what's wrong and fix it.) When my mind goes into "safe mode," I can still breathe, speak, and read- only I'm not making sense of any of it. (I pretty much spent my entire senior year in high school calculus operating in "safe mode." )

I would wager some of Chris' letters could keep cryptologists busy for hours. Now, in fairness to my son, my confusion doesn't stem from poor spelling or grammar. The words are usually legible. It's more the pace and direction he takes. (Imagine a kitten in a playroom filled with balls of string- kittens love string. Now, imagine 20 kittens in a playroom filled with balls of string....they're all over the place, and they get there with blinding speed!) That's what it feels like reading some of his letters.

The thing is- I absolutely LOVE them! I know that he is spending what little free time he has writing to his mom. He may have 50 things to tell me about and 20 minutes to write them. For the first time in a few years, he wants to tell me stuff!

I love every word he takes the time to write....even if I do need a decoder to read them!

Next entry: Lots of news, decoded and declassified!

Actual News!

2006-05-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

Chris called on Sunday (apparently, he will get to call home every Sunday- yippee!)

Finally some answers to the questions everyone's been dying to know:
    1. The food is o.k. (Breakfast is very good; everything else just depends on what they fix.)
    2. He gets up at 5 a.m.
    3. Lights out is 9 p.m.
    4. He doesn't have alot of free time (everyone else gets to "chill" after cleaning up on Sundays, but not his platoon...his drill sgt. pretty much makes them clean all day...btw, the drill sgt. is a woman- he just can't get away from having women tell him what to do; he should make someone a good husband someday!)
    5. He graduates on July 6th!

The rest of the conversation was typical small talk. He still doesn't find it difficult there. He's still giving directions about his car, and he's still concerned about getting to come home after AIT.

He's not getting much mail, and really wants to hear from everyone- so, please drop him a line if you have a chance!

Other than that, it was just really nice hearing from him...now, I've got some travel plans to arrange...

Me & my Future Soldier

2006-05-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

Me & my Baby Boy

Taken about a month before Chris left for BCT

"Oh, and Happy Mother's Day!"

2006-05-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much lately because- well, nothing much has been going on. Tear-bucket days are behind me...Chris' first phone call and letter worked wonders for my spirit. Now, I feel just the sporatic twinge of sadness (my boy is gone, but he's doing okay.)

Chris really came through on Mother's Day weekend: I got a letter and a call! This second letter was pretty much filled with the same stuff as his first- except for the much-anticipated mailing address- finally, a way for me to communicate with my boy! I already had some cards and letters ready to go, so he should have alot to read later this week.

But Mother's Day was simply golden! I didn't want to get my hopes up that he would be able to call- although, my hopes tend to do what they want to do... And while I was trying to keep my hopes in check, there was that nagging worry: What if he calls when I'm out making the Mother's Day visitation rounds? But, my Karma account must be in pretty good standing, because Steve & I were running about 30 minutes late for Mom's get-together- so I was home when he called!!! We got to talk for about 10 whole minutes on Mother's Day- talk about the perfect gift!

Chris Info Update: It's not that hard. The physical training regimen seems easier than the one he went through a couple of years ago in Alexandria. He's still bored. He can disassemble his rifle, clean it, and reassemble it. Next week, he will learn to fire it. That concludes the military update.

The rest of the conversation centered around getting his cellphones by the time he goes to AIT, additional instructions regarding his car, and did I talk to Sgt. T ? (Yes, I did. He will get to come home for a little while after AIT because he signed up for "hometown recruiting"- he'll accompany Sgt. T to some of the local high schools to speak to the students about the Army.) Whew- that was a relief!

He asked me to tell everyone he misses them and loves them. He's doing fine. Please write if you can.

Somewhere, about halfway through our conversation, he remembered to say "Oh, and Happy Mother's Day, Mom!"

Absolutely priceless.

FYI

2006-05-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

I adjusted the settings, so you do not have to be a member to comment.

Amen

2006-05-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

First Letter!

2006-05-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

It's easy to forget how wonderful it makes you feel to find a real letter, with a real stamp, waiting for you inside your real mailbox...today, I received a joyful reminder: Letter #1 from my son, the soldier.

I must say, I was not prepared for what I read. Although, I certainly wasn't surprised.

I expected that first letter to be oozing with the trials and tribulations of life in basic training. I expected "I hate it here," "I don't know if I can make it," "I want to come home," "I am in Hell," with a generous sprinkling of "I miss you, Mom," "I love you, Mom," "I never realized what a wonderful life I had with you, Mom"-(okay, I never actually expected to get that from him, but one can dream...)

What I got, was pure Chris:

"When you get a chance, call Sgt. Thompson and ask her what's going on." That is the beginning of the letter- not, "Dear Mom, How are you?" Not even "Mom!"
"I'm starting to wish I never did this yet I wish I would have waited oh but I do get to have my phone after basic training so bring that one I got from my friend, change the sim cards, buy a charger, and plz plz don't forget to bring it." (This is verbatim, no punctuation or spelling have been altered.)

The rest of the letter consists of instructions to his grandma regarding his car-audio installation, an inquiry about what friends have called for him, another request to contact his recruiter regarding his chances of getting some leave after AIT, a reminder for me to send him a friend's address (of course, he is still in a "reception thing" so he doesn't have the address I should send the address to.) He goes on to ask about his sister, "I miss that little girl!" Says to tell the family "he's alright, thanks for the support, and I love you guys-Bye!!" He concludes with "Don't forget to talk to Sgt. T about my leave and tell me so I can have a clue! I love you, Mom. BYE!"

He never signs his name, but there's no question- that's my son. I guess I should give his recruiter a call...gotta get that boy a clue!

He finally called!

2006-05-04T20:48:00.000-07:00

Thursday, 04 May 2006; 8:52pm- At last! I hear my baby's voice! Happy-happy, joy-joy! He's fine. He's bored. He's still in receiving. Yes, his hair is cut; yes, he has his uniform. He has mailed a letter, but until he is assigned to a company and battalion, he won't know what address to give to me. (Which should happen tomorrow...which is a good thing because he is so bored!)

How ingenious! Bore the new arrivals to the point where they are actually looking forward to BCT!

He has had his picture taken, but it will be a while before it comes in. He may not get a break after AIT, and he's bummed about that. The weather varies from hot to freezing (translation: anything below 65 degrees-that child's got some thin skin!)

He promised to write the first chance he gets, and wants lots of mail (no problem, kiddo- the letter brigade is anxious to get to work!)

Then, a quick "I have to go, there's a line for the phone-I love you," "I love you, too." Three -awesome-minutes. I feel rejuvenated! I heard from my boy. I still miss him like crazy, but I'm strangely happy- gonna ride this ride 'til the park shuts down!!!

Lo & Behold

2006-05-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

Chris left a week ago, and I'm holding up fairly well. Of course, I have no idea how he's doing because he hasn't called. (Sure, there was that missed phone call at 4:52 am before he left MEPS, but since his arrival at FLW, nothing!) Despite my gut feeling that any chance of a phone call anytime soon is highly unlikely, I still jump every time the phone rings...I just want to hear his voice...
God, I miss that kid!

Now, I'd like to clarify a few things. First of all, I DO understand he is in the Army, and not at summer camp. I completely understand that a group whose main objective is to turn ordinary citizens into soldiers of the most powerful army in the world, has more important things to do than worry if Pvt. Chris has called his mom. They are the experts, I get that. If it would be better for the new arrivals to have little (or no) contact with their families while they adjust to this new way of life, hey- I may not like it, but I can accept it. But, do NOT tell me he will get a chance to check in before he begins BCT, and not let him do that! I would much rather face a complete communication cut-off head on- deal with it, and get back to my dysfunctional life, than wake up each morning with hope (albeit, dwindling more each day) and after a day of disappointments, going to bed in tears (although, the tears are also dwindling more each day.)

Oh, and just in case my silent telephone isn't taunting me enough, my son's new employer has provided another method to get the job done: the promise of mail ! Goody- another thing to look forward to (at least I don't have to go around carrying the mailbox with me everywhere I go!) I want to believe that if the military says it "[requires soldiers] to send a letter home within 72 hours of arrival here in the Basic Training Unit and inform the family of his or her mailing address," then I should be getting a letter any day now. (Assuming "requirement" means the same thing in Army speak as it does in the civilian world...we'll wait and see.)

Still waiting for a call

2006-05-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday. I haven't heard from Chris yet. I spoke with his recruiter yesterday, and she said he should have called by now...but I shouldn't worry- is she kidding me??? That would leave me with nothing to do for most of my waking hours. If he leaves receiving without calling me, I won't hear from him for weeks! And I don't even have a way to write to him- in this day of cell phones and email, I am completely cut off from my son. I can't stand this! Please, God- let him call...I just want to hear his voice!

He means well, but...

2006-05-01T21:18:00.000-07:00

Steve, my husband of 5 years, just doesn't get it. I admit, my emotions tend to be a bit more "colorful" than the average person's (a trait I share with my son-sorry, baby!) . It would also be fair to say our family life was pretty much a Dr.Phil show waiting to happen. Until age 12, life for Chris was basically "him and me." Then, just as he's entering the infamous "teenage years," along comes this new guy. Newlyweds, "step" roles, teenager and eventually, baby- we were the anti-Brady's.

Now, Chris didn't end up in the Army less than two months past his 17th birthday because of some well-executed plan. It was more a series of back-firing boundary tests that ultimately landed him in the recruiting office.

Chris has made life interesting-to say the least-these past few years. I'm thankful the Army is giving him the opportunity to make a difference in his life. I am extremely proud of him for making a mature commitment to better himself and serve his country-despite the inherent danger and hard work that comes with being a soldier. I truly believe he will be a better man because he found the strength to raise his hand and take an oath.

And yet...three days after he left, I still cry for him. Steve reminds me of all the things I previously listed- these things I already know. I let him console me, because he means well. But he just doesn't get it.

My little boy- the child that, for years, needed me to tuck him in every night, or he couldn't go to sleep- my "you and me against the world" partner for 12 years- my 1st baby...is gone! I can't see him when I want, I can't talk to him when I want. I can't comfort him or protect him. I can't hug him. I can't tell him how much I love him. He is in another state, but might as well be the moon- because he is gone, and I can't speak to him, and I love this child, and I miss this child-and it has nothing to do with the Army. I didn't just say good-bye to my son that Wednesday morning, I let him go...and it hurts like hell.

This isn't happening...

2006-05-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

Wednesday afternoon-Thursday morning:

After Chris left, the rest of my day went like this- Bawled all the way home. Checked phone to make sure the ringer was on. Cleaned mascara from cheeks. Called Mom to let her know Chris was on his way to New Orleans. Cried. Cleaned face. Carried home phone and Chris' cell phone with me everywhere I went. Jumped when Steve called. Listened to his words of support (he just doesn't get it.) Went into Chris' room. It was pretty much the disaster it's always been...looks like he just took off to his friend's house and will be back to throw more candy wrappers under the dresser later on...but it feels empty. I should go ahead and start cleaning it, but I cry some more instead. (I don't have to worry about cleaning my face any more, my make-up is long gone.)

And that pretty much sums up the entire day and most of the night.

Sometime around 3am, the phone rings. I'm startled from my sleep. The caller ID shows it is one of Chris' friends. Mentally exhausted and half asleep, I turn off the ringer. (Chris' cell phone is inches from my head, on my nightstand.) At some point, Steve gets up, dresses, and leaves for work. I am sleeping the sleep of the dead.

8:45am- I wake up with a monstrous tear-induced headache. I am painfully aware of Chris' empty bedroom as I walk to the kitchen for aspirin. I glimpse a glowing green light on the caller ID. I recall the 3am phone call, and go over to clear the name.

Oh no! Please, God-NO! NO,NO,NO,NO,NO,NOOOOOOO! There are two calls-at 4:52 and 4:53am-from the Wyndham Hotel in New Orleans. I had turned the answering machine off the day before to make sure it didn't pick up before I had a chance to answer the phone. I run to the bedroom- OH MY GOD, I turned the ringer off!!! Why didn't I hear Chris' cell phone ring???? I grab it to check for missed calls....and cry (or more accurately-sob, curse and wail.)

This isn't happening...his cell phone is dead.

but he was already gone

2006-04-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, April 26 2006- The Big Day

8:45am- The alarm clock tells me if I don't get up now, I'll never get Chris to the recruiting office on time. The incessant chiming is unnecessary, I'm already awake. Actually, even though I'm still in bed, I've been quite busy...thinking/worrying/praying/crying/recounting/regretting/crying/hoping/
praying/crying...
basically, conjuring up every conceivable way to insure this day will be every bit as painful as it promises to be. I'm thinking: after years of waking Chris up for school- sometimes 2 or 3 times-today may be the last time I have to do it. (Even though our morning wake-up ritual was never enjoyed by either of us, today I cherish it.)

And that is my thought process the rest of the morning: this may be the last time.... (I am the queen of self-torture.)

Chris' friend, Matt came over earlier to "hang out" and tell Chris 'bye. Before I drag myself into the shower, I peek in on Chris. He's sacked out on the bed- Matt is sprawled out on the floor. Like a couple of teenagers without a care in the world. I close the door and cry.

10:40am- Me, Chris , Matt & Mia pile into the car. It's painfully quiet (well, except for Mia, who is babbling in her sweet, oblivious one-year old way.) Stop one-Grandma's. Chris gets out, says good-bye, back in two minutes-tops. More silence. I can't stand it, so I tune the radio to one of Chris' favorite stations and we're off to Stop two-Circle K. Chris gets an energy drink and tells Matt 'bye. (He lives a couple of houses from the store and walks home from there.) Their good-bye was as casual as if to say, "See 'ya tomorrow." I want to cry, but don't. We make a quick stop at the bank, and it's on to the recruiting office. Chris is on his cell phone, Mia is strangely quiet, and I'm trying not to think.

11:25am- We walk into the office with 5 minutes to spare. Chris' recruiter, Sgt. Thompson (can't say enough good things about her) met us at the door. She checked his paperwork, offered some words of encouragement, and walked us to the van. The driver is at the wheel, and the rest of the van is empty, and I can't stand the thought of Chris riding all the way to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) in New Orleans by himself, and I want to cry, but I will not cry, and I want to get this over with, but I don't want this moment to end. I tell Mia to kiss her brother "good-bye", and she offers the top of her head to him. He kisses her, and it's my turn. I'm holding Mia, so I can only hug him with one arm...but I can still hug him tight. With a kiss, I tell him I love him, I'm going to miss him, and he will be just fine. I tell him to call me as soon as he can. He says he will and he loves me, too. One more good-bye, and I start back to my car. Silent tears are rolling down my cheeks. Once Mia is settled into her car seat I turn to wave good-bye...but he was already gone.

Three Days in the Making

2006-04-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

Before Chris left, I decided I would create a blog to 1. preserve the memories of this important time of his life. 2. Allow his family and friends to feel "connected" to him- if only vicariously through me. and 3. To help me cope with a very real, very hard case of "Empty Nest Syndrome."

I fully intended to dive right into this project the day before he left...but I couldn't. I was too busy taking in all the little things about him that I was afraid I might forget. I was savoring the time he made for me and his little sister...time he usually spent barricaded in his bedroom-on the phone or playing video games. And I simply couldn't gather the strength to confront my own feelings.

Oh well, I could always get right on it after he left....

Did I really believe that???

Three days have passed. The tears are always just below the surface. And this is very hard...but it's a start.

Just the basics

2006-04-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

I spent the last seventeen years of my life (attempting) to protect my son from danger and pain, heartbreak and need. Yesterday, with a kiss and a hug (and a choked-up good-bye,) my shift ended. Chris is my firstborn, a young man-and yet, my baby. He is an American Soldier. This is my way of coping in his absence. I miss him so much it hurts.