Actual News!

Chris called on Sunday (apparently, he will get to call home every Sunday- yippee!)

Finally some answers to the questions everyone's been dying to know:
    1. The food is o.k. (Breakfast is very good; everything else just depends on what they fix.)
    2. He gets up at 5 a.m.
    3. Lights out is 9 p.m.
    4. He doesn't have alot of free time (everyone else gets to "chill" after cleaning up on Sundays, but not his platoon...his drill sgt. pretty much makes them clean all day...btw, the drill sgt. is a woman- he just can't get away from having women tell him what to do; he should make someone a good husband someday!)
    5. He graduates on July 6th!

The rest of the conversation was typical small talk. He still doesn't find it difficult there. He's still giving directions about his car, and he's still concerned about getting to come home after AIT.

He's not getting much mail, and really wants to hear from everyone- so, please drop him a line if you have a chance!

Other than that, it was just really nice hearing from him...now, I've got some travel plans to arrange...

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Me & my Future Soldier

Me & my Baby Boy

Taken about a month before Chris left for BCT

"Oh, and Happy Mother's Day!"

I haven't written much lately because- well, nothing much has been going on. Tear-bucket days are behind me...Chris' first phone call and letter worked wonders for my spirit. Now, I feel just the sporatic twinge of sadness (my boy is gone, but he's doing okay.)

Chris really came through on Mother's Day weekend: I got a letter and a call! This second letter was pretty much filled with the same stuff as his first- except for the much-anticipated mailing address- finally, a way for me to communicate with my boy! I already had some cards and letters ready to go, so he should have alot to read later this week.

But Mother's Day was simply golden! I didn't want to get my hopes up that he would be able to call- although, my hopes tend to do what they want to do... And while I was trying to keep my hopes in check, there was that nagging worry: What if he calls when I'm out making the Mother's Day visitation rounds? But, my Karma account must be in pretty good standing, because Steve & I were running about 30 minutes late for Mom's get-together- so I was home when he called!!! We got to talk for about 10 whole minutes on Mother's Day- talk about the perfect gift!

Chris Info Update: It's not that hard. The physical training regimen seems easier than the one he went through a couple of years ago in Alexandria. He's still bored. He can disassemble his rifle, clean it, and reassemble it. Next week, he will learn to fire it. That concludes the military update.

The rest of the conversation centered around getting his cellphones by the time he goes to AIT, additional instructions regarding his car, and did I talk to Sgt. T ? (Yes, I did. He will get to come home for a little while after AIT because he signed up for "hometown recruiting"- he'll accompany Sgt. T to some of the local high schools to speak to the students about the Army.) Whew- that was a relief!

He asked me to tell everyone he misses them and loves them. He's doing fine. Please write if you can.

Somewhere, about halfway through our conversation, he remembered to say "Oh, and Happy Mother's Day, Mom!"

Absolutely priceless.

FYI

I adjusted the settings, so you do not have to be a member to comment.

Amen

First Letter!

It's easy to forget how wonderful it makes you feel to find a real letter, with a real stamp, waiting for you inside your real mailbox...today, I received a joyful reminder: Letter #1 from my son, the soldier.

I must say, I was not prepared for what I read. Although, I certainly wasn't surprised.

I expected that first letter to be oozing with the trials and tribulations of life in basic training. I expected "I hate it here," "I don't know if I can make it," "I want to come home," "I am in Hell," with a generous sprinkling of "I miss you, Mom," "I love you, Mom," "I never realized what a wonderful life I had with you, Mom"-(okay, I never actually expected to get that from him, but one can dream...)

What I got, was pure Chris:

"When you get a chance, call Sgt. Thompson and ask her what's going on." That is the beginning of the letter- not, "Dear Mom, How are you?" Not even "Mom!"
"I'm starting to wish I never did this yet I wish I would have waited oh but I do get to have my phone after basic training so bring that one I got from my friend, change the sim cards, buy a charger, and plz plz don't forget to bring it." (This is verbatim, no punctuation or spelling have been altered.)

The rest of the letter consists of instructions to his grandma regarding his car-audio installation, an inquiry about what friends have called for him, another request to contact his recruiter regarding his chances of getting some leave after AIT, a reminder for me to send him a friend's address (of course, he is still in a "reception thing" so he doesn't have the address I should send the address to.) He goes on to ask about his sister, "I miss that little girl!" Says to tell the family "he's alright, thanks for the support, and I love you guys-Bye!!" He concludes with "Don't forget to talk to Sgt. T about my leave and tell me so I can have a clue! I love you, Mom. BYE!"

He never signs his name, but there's no question- that's my son. I guess I should give his recruiter a call...gotta get that boy a clue!

He finally called!

Thursday, 04 May 2006; 8:52pm- At last! I hear my baby's voice! Happy-happy, joy-joy! He's fine. He's bored. He's still in receiving. Yes, his hair is cut; yes, he has his uniform. He has mailed a letter, but until he is assigned to a company and battalion, he won't know what address to give to me. (Which should happen tomorrow...which is a good thing because he is so bored!)

How ingenious! Bore the new arrivals to the point where they are actually looking forward to BCT!

He has had his picture taken, but it will be a while before it comes in. He may not get a break after AIT, and he's bummed about that. The weather varies from hot to freezing (translation: anything below 65 degrees-that child's got some thin skin!)

He promised to write the first chance he gets, and wants lots of mail (no problem, kiddo- the letter brigade is anxious to get to work!)

Then, a quick "I have to go, there's a line for the phone-I love you," "I love you, too." Three -awesome-minutes. I feel rejuvenated! I heard from my boy. I still miss him like crazy, but I'm strangely happy- gonna ride this ride 'til the park shuts down!!!

Lo & Behold

Chris left a week ago, and I'm holding up fairly well. Of course, I have no idea how he's doing because he hasn't called. (Sure, there was that missed phone call at 4:52 am before he left MEPS, but since his arrival at FLW, nothing!) Despite my gut feeling that any chance of a phone call anytime soon is highly unlikely, I still jump every time the phone rings...I just want to hear his voice...
God, I miss that kid!


Now, I'd like to clarify a few things. First of all, I DO understand he is in the Army, and not at summer camp. I completely understand that a group whose main objective is to turn ordinary citizens into soldiers of the most powerful army in the world, has more important things to do than worry if Pvt. Chris has called his mom. They are the experts, I get that. If it would be better for the new arrivals to have little (or no) contact with their families while they adjust to this new way of life, hey- I may not like it, but I can accept it. But, do NOT tell me he will get a chance to check in before he begins BCT, and not let him do that! I would much rather face a complete communication cut-off head on- deal with it, and get back to my dysfunctional life, than wake up each morning with hope (albeit, dwindling more each day) and after a day of disappointments, going to bed in tears (although, the tears are also dwindling more each day.)


Oh, and just in case my silent telephone isn't taunting me enough, my son's new employer has provided another method to get the job done: the promise of mail ! Goody- another thing to look forward to (at least I don't have to go around carrying the mailbox with me everywhere I go!) I want to believe that if the military says it "[requires soldiers] to send a letter home within 72 hours of arrival here in the Basic Training Unit and inform the family of his or her mailing address," then I should be getting a letter any day now. (Assuming "requirement" means the same thing in Army speak as it does in the civilian world...we'll wait and see.)

Still waiting for a call

It's Tuesday. I haven't heard from Chris yet. I spoke with his recruiter yesterday, and she said he should have called by now...but I shouldn't worry- is she kidding me??? That would leave me with nothing to do for most of my waking hours. If he leaves receiving without calling me, I won't hear from him for weeks! And I don't even have a way to write to him- in this day of cell phones and email, I am completely cut off from my son. I can't stand this! Please, God- let him call...I just want to hear his voice!

He means well, but...

Steve, my husband of 5 years, just doesn't get it. I admit, my emotions tend to be a bit more "colorful" than the average person's (a trait I share with my son-sorry, baby!) . It would also be fair to say our family life was pretty much a Dr.Phil show waiting to happen. Until age 12, life for Chris was basically "him and me." Then, just as he's entering the infamous "teenage years," along comes this new guy. Newlyweds, "step" roles, teenager and eventually, baby- we were the anti-Brady's.

Now, Chris didn't end up in the Army less than two months past his 17th birthday because of some well-executed plan. It was more a series of back-firing boundary tests that ultimately landed him in the recruiting office.

Chris has made life interesting-to say the least-these past few years. I'm thankful the Army is giving him the opportunity to make a difference in his life. I am extremely proud of him for making a mature commitment to better himself and serve his country-despite the inherent danger and hard work that comes with being a soldier. I truly believe he will be a better man because he found the strength to raise his hand and take an oath.

And yet...three days after he left, I still cry for him. Steve reminds me of all the things I previously listed- these things I already know. I let him console me, because he means well. But he just doesn't get it.

My little boy- the child that, for years, needed me to tuck him in every night, or he couldn't go to sleep- my "you and me against the world" partner for 12 years- my 1st baby...is gone! I can't see him when I want, I can't talk to him when I want. I can't comfort him or protect him. I can't hug him. I can't tell him how much I love him. He is in another state, but might as well be the moon- because he is gone, and I can't speak to him, and I love this child, and I miss this child-and it has nothing to do with the Army. I didn't just say good-bye to my son that Wednesday morning, I let him go...and it hurts like hell.

This isn't happening...

Wednesday afternoon-Thursday morning:


After Chris left, the rest of my day went like this- Bawled all the way home. Checked phone to make sure the ringer was on. Cleaned mascara from cheeks. Called Mom to let her know Chris was on his way to New Orleans. Cried. Cleaned face. Carried home phone and Chris' cell phone with me everywhere I went. Jumped when Steve called. Listened to his words of support (he just doesn't get it.) Went into Chris' room. It was pretty much the disaster it's always been...looks like he just took off to his friend's house and will be back to throw more candy wrappers under the dresser later on...but it feels empty. I should go ahead and start cleaning it, but I cry some more instead. (I don't have to worry about cleaning my face any more, my make-up is long gone.)

And that pretty much sums up the entire day and most of the night.

Sometime around 3am, the phone rings. I'm startled from my sleep. The caller ID shows it is one of Chris' friends. Mentally exhausted and half asleep, I turn off the ringer. (Chris' cell phone is inches from my head, on my nightstand.) At some point, Steve gets up, dresses, and leaves for work. I am sleeping the sleep of the dead.

8:45am- I wake up with a monstrous tear-induced headache. I am painfully aware of Chris' empty bedroom as I walk to the kitchen for aspirin. I glimpse a glowing green light on the caller ID. I recall the 3am phone call, and go over to clear the name.

Oh no! Please, God-NO! NO,NO,NO,NO,NO,NOOOOOOO! There are two calls-at 4:52 and 4:53am-from the Wyndham Hotel in New Orleans. I had turned the answering machine off the day before to make sure it didn't pick up before I had a chance to answer the phone. I run to the bedroom- OH MY GOD, I turned the ringer off!!! Why didn't I hear Chris' cell phone ring???? I grab it to check for missed calls....and cry (or more accurately-sob, curse and wail.)

This isn't happening...his cell phone is dead.